
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2300279.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Major_Character_Death
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Caligula_(1979)
  Relationship:
      Caligula/Drusilla
  Character:
      Caligula, Drusilla, Caesonia
  Additional Tags:
      Sibling_Incest
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-09-13 Words: 6328
****** No Other Love ******
by demonbarber14
Summary
     A group of one-shots based on the 1979 film Caligula, with most of
     the emphasis on the Emperor's relationship with his sister. Rated E
     for obvious reasons.
Julia Drusilla peeked into her mother’s room with more than a little interest.
Agrippina had not had time to play with her three-year old for the last few
days, and the child had grown more and more perturbed. It would have been one
thing if her usual nursemaids had been as attentive as usual, but even they
were too distracted to coo over the girl enough to suit her liking. Drusilla
had not been ignored from the day she was born, so the change in events
frightened her even more than the screams that had emitted from the other side
of the villa. The moment she was left alone in her room, she hurried to her
mother’s chamber as fast as her tiny, plump legs could carry her. The screaming
had subsided by that time, and most of the commotion had died down. When
Drusilla actually reached the imposing door, she became apprehensive. She
wondered if her mother had died or if something equally tragic had occurred. If
it had, it was probably due to that Tiberius that was always whispered about.
She reasoned that if anything had caused her mother pain, it was probably that
man? creature? thing? The door had been left ajar, due to all the activity, so
the child gathered all her courage and tentatively looked inside. She saw her
mother lying in bed holding something in a blanket. Agrippina looked alright,
as did her husband and their numerous attendants. Drusilla pushed the door open
even wider until she was noticed by her father. Agrippina was alerted to her
presence, and summoned her to the bedside. Drusilla obeyed, and her father
picked her up and sat her down next to her mother.
“Drusilla, darling” began Agrippina, weak but proud, “this is your new
brother”.
She shifted the small bundle, so Drusilla could see the sleeping baby’s face. A
brother. She knew what that meant. It meant having to share things, not having
everyone pay her their complete attention, not being the only one on her
mother’s lap during the few precious hours a week they got to spend together.
She glared at the little creature, who began to stir sleepily.
“You must take good care of him treat him gently.”
“Like a cat?”
Her mother paused momentarily, until she remembered how well Drusilla behaved
with the family pets.
“Yes, darling, treat him exactly as you would a cat.”
This revelation cheered Drusilla up immensely, as anything that could be
compared to cat was automatically something to like, at the very least. Her
mother’s next statement, however, confused the child to no end.
“He’s going to be emperor one day”
Drusilla all but recoiled at the word. Wasn’t The Tiberius an Emperor as well?
Would the little kitten grow up into something like him (it?)? Maybe there are
different kinds of Emperors she reasoned like how some cats like me to hold
them and some cats bite me sometimes.
This thought relieved her, and uneasy feelings vanished the instant the baby
woke up.
It didn’t cry, but looked at its sister with as much interest as she had. In
the moment their eyes met, Drusilla knew that she loved the child. Even if it
did share her things and her attention, even if it did turn into a Tiberius, it
was still hers to love and protect. She leaned forward and clumsily kissed its
forehead.
“What’s his name?”
“Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus” their father proclaimed, with a smile
equaling his wife’s.
Drusilla shrieked with mirth, as the newborn miraculously stayed quiet. “That’s
silly!”
“We shall call him Gaius” her mother explained patiently. “Now go back to bed
and you can see him in the morning”
“I love you, Gaius” Drusilla announced with more solemnity than anyone would
have thought possible coming from the rambunctious child.
“I love you” she repeated over and over to herself as she was led into her
room.
“I love you”
 
Twelve years later
“Drusilla, I’m a little frightened”.
“Alright, Gaius, come over here, then” Drusilla said automatically through her
sleepy haze. Normally she hated losing an instant of sleep, but she knew that
her brother’s needs were more important than her own.
He dove into her bed and wrapped his arms around her as best he could.
“Is it something you want to talk about?” she asked gently.
“No” he replied quickly before resting his head on her breasts.
She put her arms around him and held him as hard as she could while stroking
his hair and pressing his head against her even more. All she wanted to do was
keep him safe, not only from Tiberius, but from everything that wasn’t
benevolent or beautiful. She felt Gaius start to cry and began kissing the top
of his head with a possessive ferocity and whispering the comforting words she
had repeated on many nights since their parents had died.
“Hush, Gaius, darling. Nothing bad can happen to you. Drusilla’s here. I’m
going to protect you. Hush, love, it’s all right. It’s all right, there’s no
need to cry.”
His terrors must have been worse than usual that night, because his sobs just
grew louder and he started babbling.
“He killed our parents, Drusilla, he’s going to kill us”
“No, he’s not, darling; he needs you as his heir since you’re the only one
left”
This was clearly the wrong thing to say, as he started crying even louder.
“Can’t we run away? We could just leave and live together and find work and--”
“We can’t run away, Gaius, the guards would just find us and get us into
trouble”
“Why do we always have to be guarded? What do they honestly think we’re going
to do? Why can’t they leave us alone? I don’t want to be emperor! I don’t want
to do anything except not die”
Drusilla began shushing him frantically, terrified that a guard would be awake
and listening at the door. It had become a habit of theirs never to talk about
or do anything private when there was even the remotest chance of someone’s
listening, but clearly Gaius was beyond caring. Gaius’s sobs subsided slightly,
as Drusilla held her breath, waiting for any sound that would alert her to any
unwelcome company. After a few minutes without a sign of any alien presence,
she relaxed slightly and continued to focus on her brother. His behavior that
night was especially strange since they’d had a particularly happy day earlier
on. They had raced each other around the villa many times, climbed the most
manageable of the surrounding trees, and finally fell in an exhausted heap
where they remained for a long time until they began play-wrestling.
The one positive aspect of living with their great-grandmother Livia was the
fact that she was far too old to attempt to impose any control on the
adolescents, leaving them free to do nothing but enjoy each other’s company for
days on end. Being an emperor’s mother made the woman unbearably haughty, and
she thought herself far too important to take care of children herself, and the
two were constantly able to evade lessons and the social events Livia
constantly threw.
Drusilla finally gave up trying to talk to her brother, and continued kissing
him instead. Once the top of his head had been thoroughly taken care of, she
moved farther down the bed and, tilting his head up, kissed his lips. He kissed
her back with the terror-filled ferocity that she had grown used to in the last
few years. Once Drusilla started enjoying herself, her brother pulled back with
a slight whimper and moved as far away from her as he could, while still
remaining near enough to feel her warmth.
“Gaius, stop doing that” Drusilla half-scolded; frustrated that he had
interrupted their kissing once again that day. “It’s perfectly normal. I don’t
mind it when you…” her voice trailed off, not quite sure how to describe her
brother’s embarrassing and increasingly frequent erections, especially since
she wasn’t quite sure what they were herself. “I enjoy it.”
“Really?” He asked, suspicious and eager at the same time.
“Yes; now come here, silly Caligula”  
He obeyed gratefully, and they resumed their kissing, as she felt his member
grow even harder against her thigh. She began wriggling in her nightdress until
it was sufficiently low enough to leave her breasts completely exposed.  Gaius
took the gesture as a cue, and began kissing her softly swelled chest as she
continued to play with his hair. She gave a little shiver of delight at the
combined sensations she was experiencing. Their movements both became more
frantic, as they were desperate to be even closer to each other. Their mutual
eagerness made up for their lack of experience, and after a few misguided
attempts, they were able to fully seal the bond between them.  
“I love you, Drusilla” he whispered the moment before their bodies merged
together.
“I love you too, Gaius” was the equally soft reply that she made when they were
finished.
She held him in her arms long after they were done and he fall asleep from
sheer exhaustion.
Isis she thought, staring at the ceiling as though she could see the stars
beyond it Gods, if you should exist, she added for safety make my brother live.
Don’t let anyone harm him; let them take me instead. I swear to always protect
him and to die for him if I have to. Just please let him live. Let my brother
live.
 
Two years later
            Drusilla was busy braiding her hair when she heard footsteps behind
her. Is he still here?
“Not now, Cassius, I’m doing my hair” she looked over her shoulder; a look of
impatience plastered over her features and gave a small start, her face
changing instantaneously.
“Gaius!” she shrieked, racing up to him and flinging herself into the embrace
she had grown up in.
“I met Cassius on my way in. He’s going to town; won’t be back for a long
while”
“How did you get here?”
“Paid off my new tutor” Caligula managed to gasp out in between harsh kisses to
his sister’s lips. “He’ll tell Antonia I was with him all day. Pinched a
slave’s clothes to get past the guards. Should probably pay him for it”.
“Where’d you get the money?”
“Antonia doesn’t exactly keep it hidden”
“How often can you do it?”
“Until I get caught”
“I can give you the money if you want. I’ve got plenty of it to spend now.”
He made a halfhearted attempt at a refusal, but once she assured him that he
would only be depleting the purse of his despised brother in law, he agreed. As
they talked, they made their way to the bed, where she sat opposite him and
stared into the eyes she had sorely missed.
            They had become spoiled by Livia’s near-deafness, so when she died,
and they had to live with their grandmother Antonia, they had kept up their
nighttime activities just as often and as loudly as before.  When Antonia
discovered them in the middle of an astonishing feat of acrobatics one night,
they had been ordered never to see each other again. Neither adolescent took
the warning seriously, but soon, they were physically prevented from visiting
each other by the guards Tiberius had ordered to watch them, and were only
allowed to see (but not talk to) each other at mealtimes. Their few meeting
attempts all ended with violent beatings from their alleged protectors, so they
soon gave up and contented themselves with imagined conversations and self-
inflicted ecstasies. It seemed too sweet to believe that they could finally be
together as often as they wished.
“How is it with Cassius?”
“Oh, you are vile”, Drusilla teased, running her hands through her brother’s
silky blond hair, before being wrestled onto the bed.
“He’s so terribly fat. How do you even do it?”
“Well, he was able to do it.” She tapped his nose. “I shan’t tell you any
more.”
“What happened when he realized you weren’t a virgin?”     
She pushed him off her and repositioned herself on the bed so that she was
clutching the sheets to her collarbone.
“Oh, Cassius, I’m so ashamed” she murmured, widening her eyes and thrusting her
chest out in an obvious self-parody. “I just have no idea how that could have
happened” she continued, letting the sheets slip down in her “sorrow”, and
subtly rolling her shoulders enough to let her loose gown fall tantalizingly
low over her large, round breasts. “If only there were some way I could make it
upto you” she cooed, her eyes widening, and her lips trembling “but I know I
just won’t ever be able to”. She put her hand to her mouth and touched her
lower lip in her mock-anxiety, as she continued breathing into her chest, until
her breasts seemed moments away from freeing themselves, their pink tips just
beginning to peek out from her gown. “I do so want to make you happy.” She
widened her eyes and drew in her upper arms, making her breasts look even more
delectably large.
“What was his response, then?”
She let her body relax and her face lost all traces of conniving innocence.
“Same as yours” she laughed, eyeing his ill-concealed erection.
He gave her an insolent smirk. “Shall we make up for all the time we’ve
missed?”
“Well, I don’t know. I’ve been so spoiled by Cassius that I’m not sure if you
could-”
Her playful taunts were quickly silenced when he crushed his lips against hers
and forced her onto her back. He pulled the sheets off her and quickly removed
her clothes. He took a few seconds to simply stare at her hungrily, while she
continued to giggle. Her blonde hair and blue eyes matched his almost
perfectly. It had always seemed so natural that they should be together. Who
else deserved to even look at something so beautiful? No one he decided, before
gently playing with her hair and removing his own clothes.
“I love you, Gaius” she murmured, placing her hands on his shoulders. “Don’t
ever abandon me for such a long time again.”
“Believe me, I won’t.”
He got on top of her and kissed her on the lips. She groaned and arched her
back so that he could feel her naked breasts pressing against his chest. He
moved his hand down and began using the pad of his thumb to play with her
already hard nipple. He gave her lips one last kiss before his mouth trailed
down to her neck. He gently bit at her shoulder and neck, wanting to re-claim
every inch of his sister after she had given herself up to that disgusting old
man.
“Gaius, stop! Please, don’t!”
He kissed her, almost ashamed that he had forgotten how ticklish she was. He
hated to think that any little quirk of hers had gone unremembered. He
redoubled his “attack” on her, until she was breathless from shrieks of
laughter and the area from her chin to her shoulder glistened with his saliva.
“Well, I hope you’re not going to stop there” she panted.
“Oh, I’m not.” He grinned, staring ravenously at her breasts.
Before she had time to catch her breath, he grabbed her breasts and squeezed
them harshly. Her body gave a little shudder of delight and he immediately took
her right nipple into his mouth, continuing to manipulate the left with his
thumb. He began licking the hardened peak with his saliva-coated tongue before
greedily sucking on the pale flesh. He’d forgotten how good she tasted. He
switched over to her other breast, and gave it an equal amount of attention,
even biting down on her nipple, which made her buck her hips and shriek even
louder. His hand made its way down her belly, stroking and patting the
sensitive area below her navel before lightly cupping the area between her
thighs. She pushed her hips further into his hand and with a quick dip of his
finger, he ascertained that she was more than wet enough to accept him. He
nudged himself into her. She was even softer and warmer than he remembered. He
began thrusting his hips, slowly at first, but he soon gained speed when he saw
how much she was enjoying herself.
Drusilla groaned and tugged her brother’s hair. Her entire being seemed to have
become nothing more than the intense wave of pleasure she felt as he continued
pushing into her. She felt him come inside her with a final, intense thrust. He
rolled off her and lay next to her, wordlessly running his fingers through her
hair and biting her nose.
“That was nicer than I remembered.” She mumbled exhaustedly, before nuzzling
her head against his chest.
“So, I’m better than Cassius, am I?”
She nodded, too sleepy to respond properly.
He kissed her forehead and let her sleep, marveling at the fact that he was
part of her.  
 
Five years later
“Caligula, you’re so slow!” Drusilla called out as she continued to dash ahead
of her brother, lightly jumping over the more hazardous rocks and fallen
branches in her way. She stopped when she reached a tree and waited for
Caligula to catch up to her. He reached her a few seconds later and she
positioned herself so that her back was straight up against the rough bark. She
turned her head and closed her eyes almost shyly, smiling as her brother gently
pulled out the leaves that had gotten tangled in her long blonde hair. She
reminded him of a sacrificial lamb, her pale and helpless looking body
contrasting with the dark brown tree behind her. He cupped her face in his hand
and gave her a few quick, teasing kisses. She returned the favor, as he brushed
her loose garment off her shoulders and caressed her breasts.
“You’re so lovely” he informed, stating into her eyes with an intensity that
would have made her blush, had she not been so used to it.
“Hush, Gaius” she groaned. “You make me feel quite arrogant.” She grabbed a
handful of his hair and gave it a light tug upwards. He did the same to her,
but let go as slowly as he could, admiring the way her gold tresses settled
around her wide face.
He put his arms around her waist and sat down, dragging her along with him. He
gave her lips a few more pecks as he pushed her shoulders until she was lying
flat on her back. His kisses deepened as his hand trailed lazily along the
contours of her body, pushing her clothes off, until it finally rested between
her thighs. He let it stay there an excruciatingly long time, and Drusilla
expressed her impatience by bucking her hips against it. Caligula rubbed his
palm across the tangle of golden hair, making her groan contentedly into his
mouth. He stroked and probed the tender flesh between her legs with his index
finger, before dipping it inside her. He quickened his motions and added a
second finger, pumping them in and out of her body until they were completely
coated in her cum.
“Want a little more, darling?”
She nodded, shifting her hips so that she was settled more comfortably on the
hard ground. She closed her eyes and felt him lightly swat at her inner thighs.
“Spread” he commanded, and she complied eagerly. He settled between her legs
and began kissing her, starting from the spot just above her kneecap. Drusilla
felt herself growing wet with anticipation as he made his way up her thigh. He
paused at the top of her leg, filling his mouth with saliva and making his
tongue as wet as possible. No matter how many times they had engaged in the act
together, she was always unprepared for the sharp stab of bliss that made its
way through her body when his mouth came into contact with her nether lips. He
kissed her flower a few times before slipping his tongue inside her. She
groaned and whimpered, clenching and unclenching her fists and sandal-clad
toes, trying to keep her lower body as still as possible to make it easier for
him. He explored her warm, moist opening and lapped up the results of her
orgasm. He looked up and noticed that she had relaxed slightly. Caligula made
his movements as slow and languid as possible, barely skimming the sensitive
flesh, until she started getting used to the sensation. With no warning, the
thrust his tongue as deep as he could inside her, with the most rapid motions
he was capable of. She shrieked and came close to kneeing the side of his face.
Undeterred, he held her legs down and continued his amorous assault. He sucked
hungrily at her womanhood letting his teeth graze the spot where she was most
sensitive. Drusilla felt herself drowning in painfully acute pleasure, coming
multiple times under the careful ministrations of his lips and tongue. He
finished with another slow lick across her flesh and lay down next to her.
“Gaius, you’re quite” she struggled to catch her breath “quite wonderful”
“Want to see how good you taste?”
She eyed him suspiciously. “Wha-”
Her question was silenced when he kissed her ferociously and forced his tongue
into her mouth. She tried to pull away from him, but he held her firmly in
place until most of the cum on his tongue was transferred to her mouth. She
automatically turned her head and spat violently on the ground.
“Caligula, I swear, you are the most vile, immature, disgusting, filthy little
brat who has ever lived” she laughed, before she wiped her tongue on the back
of her hand.
Unable to remain upset with her brother, she rested her head against his chest
and bit at him lazily. He wrapped his arms around her and massaged her scalp.
His body felt so warm against hers, and though he was larger than she, he
seemed almost delicate. She inhaled deeply, smiling as his familiar scent
reached her nostrils. She kissed and nuzzled him happily until she saw the
goosebumps on his arms.
“It’s so cold, Gaius. Let’s go inside.” She sat up and the twigs that had stuck
to her back fell away as Caligula brushed them off. He helped pin her stola
back in place, fingering the pin that held it with displeasure. It was
obviously a gift from Crassus. Only he would be stupid enough to not to realize
that the green stones didn’t compliment any of Drusilla’s features.
They made their way back to the villa, Caligula frequently swatting at his
sister’s behind to spur her on. They fell onto her bed together and resumed
holding each other. He soon fell asleep against her breasts, and she continued
to run her hands through his hair. Just as she felt herself drifting off, the
sound of men talking just outside the door made them both start.
“I must see him. It is a matter of great importance.”
Caligula recognized the voice of Macro and groaned inwardly. True, they were
friends, but anyone who worked for the emperor, anyone who wasn’t Drusilla,
could automatically be deemed a potential threat. Drusilla didn’t waste an
instant. She rolled off the bed and seemingly launched herself behind the
curtain that closed off his small devotional alter to Isis. She barely had time
to feel blasphemous before Macro walked in, and she listened to their
conversation.
“My lord.”
“What is it, Macro?” Caligula demanded, attempting to disguise his fear with
annoyance.
“The Emperor, sir, demands that you join him Capri”
Drusilla hardly contained a gasp, and the sound of her heart pounding made it
nearly impossible for her to hear the rest of their conversation.
“Why?”
Oh, Caligula, do try to be tactful for once she mentally pleaded.
“He did not say, sir, but in all confidentially, I believe he wishes to keep
you under his personal care until” he paused “you become Emperor”
“How very kind of him” Caligula replied, acid dripping from every syllable. “Is
Cassius to come as well, or is it to be just myself and my sister.”
“Well, my lord, the Emperor specifically stated that your sister was not to
come.”
“I see” he replied shortly, still betraying a twinge in his voice. “You’re
coming with me, aren’t you, Macro?”
“Indeed, my lord”
“How soon am I to leave?”
“Two days, my lord.”
“Well. I had better get my things in order, hadn’t I?”
“My lord, would you like-”
“No, Macro, I need a little time by myself. I’m sure you can understand”
“Yes, of course, my lord. I shall see you on the ship, then.”
“Yes, now go.”
The instant his footsteps were no longer audible, Caligula raced to his
sister’s hiding place and removed the curtain. His face, contorted with agony,
anger and fear, frightened her. She stood up and wordlessly embraced him,
letting him sob openly on her shoulder.
“Gaius” she whispered “next time I hold you, you will be Emperor.”
 
Six years later
“Emperor Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus” Drusilla whispered softly as
she stroked her brother’s hair. She could hardly believe that it had finally
happened, that her darling brother was finally the emperor. He was still so
young; he was still her baby.
“What was it like living with Tiberius?”
The new emperor shut his eyes, attempting to forget the eventful years since he
had seen his sister.
The knife was in his hand, Tiberius was on the bed. It was an impulsive plan,
but so perfect. Once he was emperor, no one would punish him for it. He
crouched low over his grandfather and lifted his arm. He held it in place,
tried to remind himself of his parents and what Tiberius had done to them. He
still couldn’t do it. The knife was flung away in disgust, clattering far
louder than Caligula had expected. The emperor didn’t stir, however, so he
picked up the small dagger and made his way out of the room. He glanced over
his shoulder for a second and saw Tiberius’s eyes wide open, staring with blank
fear at his grandson.
 
The young slave girl screamed in a language he couldn’t understand, though he
could gather her meaning. Tears rolled down her face, cutting channels in the
thick make-up. She couldn’t have been more than twelve, but she was very
pretty. That was Caligula’s excuse to himself as he rammed into her.  
 
“How do you think this man should be punished, Caligula?”
“I don’t know, lord.”
“Would you like to kill him yourself, Caligula?”
“If it would be” he searched for a word in order so as not to convey his
eagerness “convenient to you, my lord.”
The old man nodded, and Caligula stood in front of the condemned man. His
motion was clean and swift, though the stranger’s death was not. Caligula had
been sure to cut into his stomach so that it would take him a good long time to
die.
 
“Is it done, Macro?”
He bowed deeply, a hint of apprehension on his features.
“It is done. You are now the Emperor, my lord.”
 
“It was horrible.”
“You’re safe now, darling” she whispered, her eyes full of concern.
Wishing to terminate any further discussion, Caligula picked up the tiger cub
he had brought Drusilla and placed it on her chest. She scratched behind its
ears and let it bat at her hand.
“Shall we get married before or after the ceremony?”
Drusilla gave a small start, annoying the striped bundle of fur.
“Gaius, I-”
“If we do it before, we’ll be officially crowned together and everyone will be
used to the idea”. He reached out to stroke the re-settled tiger. “But if we do
it afterwards, we shall give the public a completely new reason to celebrate,
and have two official ceremonies instead of one.”
“Caligula, you know we can’t get married. We’re not Egyptian.”
“I am the Emperor” he said simply and with a dangerous smirk. “I can do
whatever I want, whenever I want, to whomever I want.”
“Just don’t start with me” she retorted nervously as he ran his hand up and
down his arm. “We’ll discuss it later, Gaius.”
“Should I kill Crassus, or just force him to divorce you?”
“Oh, please let us be divorced, no matter what.”
He shrugged. “I shall think about it”
He sat up next to her and hugged his knees to his chest. He had grown more
muscular since she had last seen him, and his face looked leaner and far less
adorable than it used to. She wondered what he had gone through while he was in
Capri and if he would ever tell her.
She rubbed his shoulders and gently tugged at him until he eventually lay down
next to her again and started playing with her hair.
“If we were married, you could have absolutely everything you want.
“Go to bed, Gaius. And you too, my little darling” she crooned, kissing the top
of the cub’s head.
She saw another shadow of fear cross her brother’s face when he thought she
wasn’t looking.
“I love you, Gaius. And after I’ve introduced you to all the suitable women I
know of, if you absolutely despise all of them, I shall reconsider marrying
you.”
“Drusilla, I will never love anything as much as I love you.”
 
She knew he was right, and that their being married would be wonderful. She’d
have the respect she deserved and there could even be games, feasts, and
anything else she wanted in her honor. Regardless of everything else, she and
her brother could spend all their time together. Not that either could be
expected to remain faithful, of course. Drusilla knew that both of them needed
many different types of experiences to remain satisfied. If she were Caligula’s
queen, she would make sure that only the wisest men were chosen to remain
senators, and they would only do what she and her brother told them to.
Dissention would be dealt with harshly, she decided. After all, she and her
brother were Gods; normal laws didn’t apply to them. If only the people could
understand. Drusilla knew that she and her brother could rule without a senate,
but if the people thought they were aberrations against nature, their reign
couldn’t last.
“Gaius, there were times I thought I’d die without you”
“Well, of course there were”
Insolent little fool she thought, before drifting off to sleep.
 
Eight months later
Drusilla felt her face grow red as she watched her brother and Caesonia. She
knew she shouldn’t have let him near that woman. Now that whore was to be
Empress while she, Julia Drusilla, oldest child of Agrippina and Germanicus,
beloved one-formerly beloved one-of Emperor Caligula was left with nothing. It
isn’t fair she thought to herself over and over, as she watched her brother
attempt to grope Caesonia’s breasts, only to have his hand batted away. I have
done everything for him from the day he was born. I never pushed him away like
that; I love him. I need him. Thatwomanjust married him because he’s the
Emperor. She’s had every other man in Rome, but she won’t let me have my
brother. She doesn’t deserve him. She doesn’t deserve to touch him, to hold
him, to…She doesn’t deserve anything. She doesn’t even deserve to die horribly
and become a martyr. She doesn’t even deserve mythinking about her. That
stupid, giggling, phony, teasing little--
“I’m going to take a walk in the garden, Caligula” she announced, unable to
watch any more.
“Oh, all right, Drusilla” he mumbled distractedly, still trying to get his hand
past the top of Caesonia’s loosely draped garment. Drusilla walked away as
quickly as she could without being too obvious, but she was just able to hear
Caesonia stage-whisper something to Gaius, making him laugh with far more venom
than Drusilla remembered him having. She walked to the massive enclosed area
where her tiger was kept, since it had grown large enough to cause damage, not
to mention a scratch on Drusilla’s arm that extended from her shoulder to her
elbow. She tried to look for her dear little kitten amongst the imported trees,
but to no avail.
“Darling” she whispered, embarrassed that the once future Empress of Rome was
left with no one but a tiger to talk to “come here, darling, Drusilla’s here”
Nothing happened. She reasoned that it was probably asleep, that it hadn’t
heard her, and that if it knew how much she needed it, it would be there.
Nevertheless, she banged her fist against the side of the enclosure before
falling to the ground sobbing wretchedly.
 
Two months later
“My lady, the Emperor is very sick. I think it would be wise for you to visit
him.”
“What about Caesonia? I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to take care of him”
Drusilla replied, not bothering to stop fixing her hair.
“He asked specifically for you, my lady. He’ll allow no one else but the doctor
to see him”
“Really?” she turned, a look of honest surprise on her face. “How bad is it?”
She’d heard rumors of his illness, but never listened too closely. After all,
she had stopped caring for him after he married that whore. Avoiding him in the
palace halls had become her daily goal, and she had succeeded in meeting it
nearly every time.
The messenger turned slightly red. “I cannot say for sure, my lady, but we
fear--”
“Do we know for certain that he’ll be all right?”
The desperation in her voice let the young boy know that a roundabout answer
wouldn’t do, so he simply shook his head. Drusilla sprang to her feet and
dashed out of her room, her feet barely touching the ground as she made her way
to Caligula’s chamber.
He lay in bed, frighteningly pale and glassy-eyed. Drusilla climbed into his
bed unhesitatingly, barely hearing the doctor’s warning.
“Drusilla’s here, darling. You’re safe now.”
She held his head in her hands and wiped off his sweat with her dress. He tried
to say something to her, but she hushed him and told him that he needed to
sleep.
“You sent for me, my lord” a mousy man interrupted. He was standing in the
doorway, clutching a stack of parchment.
“Yes, come here” Caligula beckoned, only able to raise his hand a few inches.
“I would like to change my will so that when I die, the position of Emperor
will be passed on to my sister, Julia Drusilla”. The shock in the room was
palpable, and Drusilla attempted to hide her triumphant smile by nuzzling the
top of her brother’s head.
He does love me the best! Of course he loves me the best. He’s always loved me
the best.
“My lord, are you quite sure that you are of sound mind?”
Drusilla glared at him, making a mental note to do something truly horrible to
him if her brother did die and she became Empress. 
All protests were quickly silenced, and the new will was stamped with the royal
seal.
 
“Gaius” she murmured against his shoulder “you feel a lot less hot than you did
before.”
Isis, Gods, if you exist, make my brother live. Don’t let anyone harm him; let
them take me instead. I swear to always protect him and to die for him if I
have to. Just please let him live. Let my brother live.
“Gaius” she sobbed with relief after a few more hours “you feel completely
normal. You’re alright, darling!”
 
Ten weeks later
Caligula woke up and stretched lazily. He looked at his wife, who seemed
impassible even as she slept. Drusilla had been right about the little bitch.
At least Caesonia had been able to give him an heir, little Julia Drusilla. His
sister had complained that the name was bad luck, but he had dismissed her,
knowing full well that most of her objections had to do with who the baby’s
mother was. He also assumed Caesonia’s pregnancy was the reason Drusilla had
taken ill during the last few days; it was very likely that she wasn’t about to
let Caesonia hold the country’s, and Caligula’s, attention for too long a
period of time. Unless she was with child as well. It’s possible Caligula
thought to himself with a smirk, thinking of how much fun such a state of
affairs would be.
He got up and put his clothes on before bracing himself to be accosted by his
so-called advisors. Only one was outside his door, however. Caligula was
confused, and a little nervous as to what it might mean.
“My lord…about the lady Drusilla…she’s not well. She asked to see you.” The boy
stammered.
“Where is she?” he asked, in a dreamlike state of calm, his racing heart
dulling his higher functions.
“In her chamber, my lord.” the messenger replied, glad that the emperor wasn’t
taking the news too badly.
Caligula nodded and strode to his sister’s room. He knew what to expect. She
was him, and he was her. It would be impossible for him not to know. It wasn’t
until he saw her that he felt it. He tilted her chin upwards so that he could
look at her
“Drusilla. Drusilla, can you hear me? Drusilla, it’s Gaius.” She gave no sign
of recognition beyond a small flutter of her eyelashes, and her head lolled to
the side. Caligula felt himself lose control and began weeping.
“Drusilla, please. You’re everything--” He looked down at the stillness of her
body, and realized that she had stopped breathing. He held her cold body and
did not let anyone come near it. She was his sister and she was dead. Nothing
else mattered.
 
 
                                    The End
 
 
 
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